Saturday, September 13, 2008

CERN Discovers Nothing!

Researchers at CERN in Geneva Switzerland have discovered one end of the universe which, they believe, suggests what we should expect to find at the other. At the smallest scale of existence, far tinier than atoms, The Large Hadron Collider has found proof of the existence of nothing. All that exists is composed of the /dev/null non-particle which is, of course, profoundly empty. From the CERN website:

"The LHC is an international research project based at CERN in Geneva, Switzerland, where scientists, engineers and support staff from 111 nations are combining state-of-the-art science and engineering in one of the largest scientific experiments ever conducted.

The LHC is the latest and most powerful in a series of particle accelerators that, over the last 70 years, have allowed us to penetrate deeper and deeper into the heart of matter and further and further back in time. The next steps in the journey will bring new knowledge about the beginning of our Universe and how it works, as the LHC recreates, on a microscale, conditions that existed billionths of a second after the birth of our Universe." (From the http://www.lhc.ac.uk website).

The LHC is based on the theory that all matter is composed of lots of little particles that clump together to form other, larger particles which combine with other clumps to form still larger particles until, eventually, the sub-atomic positrons, neutrons and electrons are created. Once these sub-atomic particles exist, they combine to form atoms and, ultimately, the entire universe. The Large Hadron Collider is designed to test this theory by working backwards down this series of particles to the find the smallest, indivisible, particle.

The LHC will accelerate massive particles and crash them together. The resulting stuff will reveal the various parts that make up the particle. The collision will also release energy which can be measured to determine how much mass was converted to energy (recall E=MC^2). All this will show what pieces make up the particles under test. However, the tests revealed something the scientists at CERN weren't prepared for and are unwilling to explain: the existence of the Negatorius Profunda (NeP).

The LHC was intended to investigate what remains after particles collide but as the energies applied were increased to the just over the hadron disintegration threshold, the expected reaction (particle fragments) didn't occur. Instead there was the complete absence of anything, no matter, no energy, nothing at all. The collision resulted in the complete annihilation of everything with no remainder at all, the Negatorius Profunda.

What this means (besides the obvious fact the Swiss are perverse and devious) is that beyond this energy level, there's nothing at all. If a particle disappears without any remaining trace of its constituent mass and energy it can only be because it had none in the first place. A particle having neither mass nor energy is exactly the same as nothing at all, a featureless, dimensionless point, lacking any possible characteristics.

Yet all of nature is believed to consist of particles having mass and that mass represents a definite quantity of energy. If one digs deep enough, as with the LHC, and finds that the smallest possible particle vanishes when smashed, with nothing at all left over, it must be that the universe itself is made from nothing. All the particles eventually resolve down to a point beyond which no existence is possible.

But it gets worse. When the LHC nibbles at this edge of existence, it reverses the process by which the universe was developed. The phenomenon of a Black Hole is based on the idea of gravity compressing matter until it implodes but CERN has proved that the reverse is true: nothingness is converted to somethingness at the so called "event horizon". Right at the very edge of the Black Hole, matter and energy are being created as little regions of nothing become encapsulated in a wrapper of proto-matter and proto-energy. The Large Hadron Collider will undo the whole process by un-creating matter and energy, leaving a region of naked nothingness instead. This nothingness will of course cause all adjacent matter and energy to disintegrate. After this massive state change we will be left with, well, nothing.

This is not a good thing. We know now that the universe we see came from nothing but we have no idea of how it happened. All we see is the end result. If we undo the process by creating a Black Hole, there is no way start over; we'll simply disappear. The LHC must be stopped! Paradoxically, the only way to safely stop the LHC is by pointing it at a mirror so that it absorbs itself into its own Black Hole. If done right the only real danger will be the instantaneous disappearance of the CERN labs and, possibly, Geneva.

This entire phenomena has been known for decades but most studiously ignored by the demented experimenters at CERN. The letter above was written to U.S. President Calvin Coolidge by a group of scientists urging the development of the ultimate Death Ray. President Coolidge refused to fund the project so this cabal of reckless researchers moved their labs to Switzerland to continue their work in secret. I only found out about it this morning, in fact.

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